What a dumb waste of time.
I just need to believe in myself.
No more job interviews. Money will only come from things I believe in, and there is too much shit out there for me to sift through it at the moment. I don't think it's selfish to say I just need to focus on me, get my own ideas going and push them to the brink. I think they are good enough. I think I will make it. I just need to keep trudging along. I will make it. :)
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Wow. I AM DONE!!!! No more
DIS studio... I can't imagine a more bittersweet ending. I feel an
enormous weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Yet this was the purpose of
my life for the past months, and the reason for my presence here. On to a
new presence! I am so stoked for this summer! Copenhagen, Berlin, London?
ISRAEL! Elsewhere? So many possibilities!
This past pre-deadline-days have been CRAZY! May 1 was nuts. I had just pulled an extremely late-nighter.. rolled in around 7 and slept till 10:30... Faelldeparken started around 11.. class at 11:40... made breakfast, smoked a bowl... ran into Gabriel on my way out.. left together around 12:30... success! haha. life can be so chill... It was insanely packed! I brought 2 beers... which lasted surprisingly long! There was so much to explore! A political statement by the president (is it president? primeminister?) of Denmark, a storm of dreaded, pierced, and tattooed anti-fascist's protest, many food stalls, a sea of people, a gorgeous park. I made my way to the anti-fascists.. lol. Then walked through the different stages which had begun playing music after the speeches were over. I finally found the anti-fascist stage and chilled there for a while. At some point I met some stoners with a giant bag of home-grown. Then I walked around some more.. it was soon time to go to my next class at 4:25... I couldn't miss this one. As I was making my way out of the anti-fascist crowd I ran into Silke!!! I hadn't seen her in ages... I had actually called her earlier because I thought she would be here! She was SO excited to see me toO! She was dancing with some other cool girls and I danced for a while. She invited me to sit with them later... but I really had to go! I made my way out of the stage area, but the park was so big! I had no idea where I was... I tried to retrace my steps. It was so crowded and everything looked different... I made my way to some exit.. these girls were handing out free juice! It was so hot and I just awkwardly put my coffee cup (I also had just bought a coffee.. to get into class mode..) and grabbed one! As I was sipping I look up beside me and I'm not sure if I held it back but by my jaw mentally dropped! None other than Emil. Of course. His blonde hair glowing. Blue eyes sparkling. "Didn't you see me?" He was sipping a juice as well... No.. I honestly didn't. I didn't even respond. HOW THE FUCK COULD I GO TO CLASS NOW?
This past pre-deadline-days have been CRAZY! May 1 was nuts. I had just pulled an extremely late-nighter.. rolled in around 7 and slept till 10:30... Faelldeparken started around 11.. class at 11:40... made breakfast, smoked a bowl... ran into Gabriel on my way out.. left together around 12:30... success! haha. life can be so chill... It was insanely packed! I brought 2 beers... which lasted surprisingly long! There was so much to explore! A political statement by the president (is it president? primeminister?) of Denmark, a storm of dreaded, pierced, and tattooed anti-fascist's protest, many food stalls, a sea of people, a gorgeous park. I made my way to the anti-fascists.. lol. Then walked through the different stages which had begun playing music after the speeches were over. I finally found the anti-fascist stage and chilled there for a while. At some point I met some stoners with a giant bag of home-grown. Then I walked around some more.. it was soon time to go to my next class at 4:25... I couldn't miss this one. As I was making my way out of the anti-fascist crowd I ran into Silke!!! I hadn't seen her in ages... I had actually called her earlier because I thought she would be here! She was SO excited to see me toO! She was dancing with some other cool girls and I danced for a while. She invited me to sit with them later... but I really had to go! I made my way out of the stage area, but the park was so big! I had no idea where I was... I tried to retrace my steps. It was so crowded and everything looked different... I made my way to some exit.. these girls were handing out free juice! It was so hot and I just awkwardly put my coffee cup (I also had just bought a coffee.. to get into class mode..) and grabbed one! As I was sipping I look up beside me and I'm not sure if I held it back but by my jaw mentally dropped! None other than Emil. Of course. His blonde hair glowing. Blue eyes sparkling. "Didn't you see me?" He was sipping a juice as well... No.. I honestly didn't. I didn't even respond. HOW THE FUCK COULD I GO TO CLASS NOW?
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Post Weekend Ramblings
I hate to say it but ive been super absorbed into my life
lately. Damn I am PROUD to say it.
I love my life right now! I love hearing Danish everywhere. Understanding bits and pieces. Meeting my friends EVERYWHERE! Hosting
wild Political Festivals on Labor Day and Marijuana Marches on Global Weed Day,
Europe is on a different level.
This is one grand city!
Every day is a holiday, and there is so much out there at your very
doorstep! If you stumble upon the
right steps life can be so sweet, so simple. Of course it is hard to let go of these perceived dreams and
ambitions society has fed into you.
It is hard to truly distill your own voice, your own style, and
introduce a new path to HAPPINESS. Fuck success. What is that anyway?
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
OK, sooooo I've been on my Euro-year-adventure for quite some time now... 10 months... and have been meaning to start a blog since forever... I was nervous of people reading it. Nervous of being stereotypical. There have been a number of dumb excuses I've been using. But hey, sometimes stereotypes are there for a reason. Blogging IS a great way to record these crazy times. And let me tell you, I have been through some CRAZY shit this year. Too crazy to recount. But I am going to try to get the good bits out for you. Better late than never right? I've got less than 3 official school weeks left! and a month of spontaneous travel/life/hanging-on-to-the-last-threads in Copenhagen time!
This is probably THE worst time to start a blog... (though aren't all serious sit-down moments the worst? wouldn't we like to just be free from responsibility? all the time? naaaaah responsibility has got it's perks!) Well for starters I am in studio and it is 1am... (still early for an architecture student) and while I have sooooo much to do for my project which is due on Monday I just cannot focus because there are so many fun things in store!
Tomorrow is May 1st, which is the European version of labor day. Not only has the weather been INCREDIBLE (not just by Copenhagen standards... it is actually nice enough to go out in a summer dress!!! and nothing else! Though I still carry at least three layers with me just in case. The Danes are going INSANE! Nearly every street, bridge, park, and public space is packed with people chilling! SUMMER is HERE!!!!) but this day is supposed to be legendary according to every exchange student I have talked to! There will be live music, food vendors, political campaigns, and other demonstrations all starting at 11am in this giant park. Then when everyone is well soaked in sun, freedom and happiness the after parties begin! So that seems like something I cannot afford to miss...
Then on Friday one of my crazy hippie friends Emil's (that is a long and complex story I will have to get into in another post) ex-girlfriend is having a birthday party in Sweden!!! Yea, I only met her once... and she de-friended me and all of my hippie friends on Facebook after she broke up with Emil... Though I didn't know they broke up until later, so I re-friended her... so we are still friends. She is beautiful and fun and free... and I've seen pictures from the New Year's party she had and her place and parties seem crazy! and so fun! And this will be her birthday party! She said I could even bring someone (luckily my crazy friend Henry jumped at the opportunity!) and that she would lend me a tent! Also, I am supposed to go to Sweden to see some Kunsthall in Lundt for class (which I can easily squeeze in after the party...) so I can even get refunded for my trip! Anyway, that definitely cannot be missed...
Which leaves Sunday fully open for work! Except that DIS planned some barbecue picnic that day. It'll work out. And that the project is due on Monday... I'm not worried. Whatever needs to get done will. It always does! Faith in yourself is the number one religion in my mind. If you believe in yourself anything can happen! I have been astounded time and again. If you believe in something (and do everything you can to achieve it), chances are it will happen! Determination and persistence are key.
Well I should probably actually do something so that my plan doesn't collapse like a row of dominoes! Life can be so exciting sometimes! Especially when the stakes are high.
And if anyone knows a cure for a migraine due to lack of sleep and way too much caffeine please let me know!!! Is it my fault that my Danish "field study" today involved an endless amount of coffee..? Mette always seems to do this to us before final deadlines. My Danish teacher is just the kindest, coolest, most generous teacher I have ever had! and gave us a full thermal pitcher to take to studio, and I've been drinking it like it was water for the past 12 hours... and my brain is not too happy.... If coffee wasn't so expensive in this city and necessary in these circumstances I may have been more cautious... In any case, for future reference, if you've lost count of how many cups you've had it is probably time to stop...
This is probably THE worst time to start a blog... (though aren't all serious sit-down moments the worst? wouldn't we like to just be free from responsibility? all the time? naaaaah responsibility has got it's perks!) Well for starters I am in studio and it is 1am... (still early for an architecture student) and while I have sooooo much to do for my project which is due on Monday I just cannot focus because there are so many fun things in store!
Tomorrow is May 1st, which is the European version of labor day. Not only has the weather been INCREDIBLE (not just by Copenhagen standards... it is actually nice enough to go out in a summer dress!!! and nothing else! Though I still carry at least three layers with me just in case. The Danes are going INSANE! Nearly every street, bridge, park, and public space is packed with people chilling! SUMMER is HERE!!!!) but this day is supposed to be legendary according to every exchange student I have talked to! There will be live music, food vendors, political campaigns, and other demonstrations all starting at 11am in this giant park. Then when everyone is well soaked in sun, freedom and happiness the after parties begin! So that seems like something I cannot afford to miss...
Then on Friday one of my crazy hippie friends Emil's (that is a long and complex story I will have to get into in another post) ex-girlfriend is having a birthday party in Sweden!!! Yea, I only met her once... and she de-friended me and all of my hippie friends on Facebook after she broke up with Emil... Though I didn't know they broke up until later, so I re-friended her... so we are still friends. She is beautiful and fun and free... and I've seen pictures from the New Year's party she had and her place and parties seem crazy! and so fun! And this will be her birthday party! She said I could even bring someone (luckily my crazy friend Henry jumped at the opportunity!) and that she would lend me a tent! Also, I am supposed to go to Sweden to see some Kunsthall in Lundt for class (which I can easily squeeze in after the party...) so I can even get refunded for my trip! Anyway, that definitely cannot be missed...
Which leaves Sunday fully open for work! Except that DIS planned some barbecue picnic that day. It'll work out. And that the project is due on Monday... I'm not worried. Whatever needs to get done will. It always does! Faith in yourself is the number one religion in my mind. If you believe in yourself anything can happen! I have been astounded time and again. If you believe in something (and do everything you can to achieve it), chances are it will happen! Determination and persistence are key.
Well I should probably actually do something so that my plan doesn't collapse like a row of dominoes! Life can be so exciting sometimes! Especially when the stakes are high.
And if anyone knows a cure for a migraine due to lack of sleep and way too much caffeine please let me know!!! Is it my fault that my Danish "field study" today involved an endless amount of coffee..? Mette always seems to do this to us before final deadlines. My Danish teacher is just the kindest, coolest, most generous teacher I have ever had! and gave us a full thermal pitcher to take to studio, and I've been drinking it like it was water for the past 12 hours... and my brain is not too happy.... If coffee wasn't so expensive in this city and necessary in these circumstances I may have been more cautious... In any case, for future reference, if you've lost count of how many cups you've had it is probably time to stop...
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